Behemoth Brawls

Session 9 - Who's Scrooge McDuck?

Last week the group decided to follow Felgolos, mostly because TREASURE. After your nightly rest was interrupted by a wolf attack, you continued on and found 8 fire giants guarding a group of slaves who were being made to excavate some ruins. From wagon to the northeast of the site, you feel the aura of strong magic. As you are watching one of the giants nearest to you say to another "Countess Sansuri will pay handsomely for that dragon. She's had a price on his head for months now."
Ralf says "


Salle ala Nabi.
Wa heyla. Heyla.
Salle ala Nabi.
Ya m' ouwwe.
Salle ala Nabi.
Heyla. Heyla.
Salle ala Nabi.
Ya m' ouwwe."


Gorawwwk whispers, a low cooing sound, "Did he say dragon? Help kill dragon?"
Weasel replies "we aren't killing any dragons right now. But there seem to be a ton of fire giants that we get to take a swing at." 
"Randole" whispers "Sounds like they wanted the dragon to come to them. Are these prisoners supposed to be bait?"
Vugrog yells "KEEP DIGGING, YOU WORMS. WE'RE NOT STOPPING UNTIL WE FIND THE SPEAR!"
Emma digs
Geoffrey digs, too.
Gorawwwk practically salivates as he asks, "Is it a dragon killing spear?"
Ralf pokes his head out of the hole "I found something!"
Matilda says "That's just a root…"
Ralf tosses the root "Damn."
Ralf disappears back down the hole.
Weasel whispers, "I'm going to take that as a no Randole. Seems like they're actually looking for something. Althought unless we get the giants away from here, I'm not sure we going to get our hands on it." 
Ilyena whispers, "Shouldn't Fergolas be here already?"
Weasel says "What if we lured the giants away? "
"Randole" quietly climbs the nearest tall tree to try to get a better look at the digsite
Kloos says "Hey Kebar, Did that dragon claw you when we nabbed him?"
"Randole" silently gestures down to the group that he can't see anything.
Kebar says "Nah, just a scratch"
Matilda says "mumbles "We've been at this for a week and you haven'e liked any of the cool stuff we've found so far…""
Weasel says "Sounds like the dragon is here somewhere, but if they've captured him, we're screwed. "
Hugh hauls dirt up out of the hole
Gorawwwk peeks around the tree and all around him. "I see no dragon. Maybe is egg like cat man?" he muses mostly to himself.
Ralf pops up out of the hole again "I found a ring!!"
Fridos approaches the hole and takes the ring from Ralf "Keep digging, we're not looking for rings!" Then takes the ring over and puts it with some other items on the wagon
Weasel says "Well we can't just stay here and do nothing! I get bored far to quickly. "
Kloos says "Bit of a collection we're getting here."
Fridos takes up his position in the circle guarding the area
Weasel says "Okay, here's what I've got. We need someone to be a distraction to the one guarding the wagon so that I can sneak up and look what they've got. who's in? "
Gorawwwk twitches his crest feathers excitedly and says, "I can fly up really high and shoot him with arrows?"
"Randole" whispers "climbs back down. "Whoa there, I think I'll be doin' tha sneakin'. Ye'll be too loud in all that armor""
Weasel says "Hey! I'm not that loud. Being tiny comes in handy for some things. "
"Randole" pats Weasel on the hand. "Sure, Weasel. But leave this part to a professional. Now how about that distraction?"
Akam says "What do we want the spear for?"
Gorawwwk gives his wings a test-flap and looks primed and ready to recklessly soar overhead shooting arrows at giants.
Fridos says "Well, it's just part of the spear. And we want it because Duke Zalto said so.."
Weasel huffs and pouts, but doesn't argue about it. 
Akam mimics "Duke Zalto said so…nyah"
Bimbor says "Dude, really? You're on thin ice already"
Akam says "Pshaw. My daddy would never let me get in trouble."
Crigfur murmurs "What an entitled little shit…"
"Randole" whispers "Uh oh, we might not even need to start somethin'…"
Akam says "This is soooo booooooring"
Akam flips his fire sword around and catches it by the handle
Akam continues flipping his sword, occasionally dropping it and being forced to stomp out the small fires it causes in the dry grass around his feet.
Gorawwwk does his best to frown, but it doesn't work very well. "Maybe make the big one mad at the other big one and they fight, yes?" he asks as though he is any good at formulating plans that don't involve shooting things full of arrows.
Akam says "If only something would haaaaapppen"
Gorawwwk whispers, "Elf! Go make nicenice with surly giant. Make others jealous of him!"
Weasel huffs, looks around at her group doing nothing, and makes a split second decision to sprint out into the middle of the circle. 
Weasel yells "LEEROY JENKINS"
GM uses Inspiration on Weasel.
"Randole" tries to fade into the shadows as the insane gnome runs forward
"Randole" rolls 2for a Stealth skill check and gets 11.
Akam says "Hey, a squirrel!"
Kloos and several others run to catch the small animal running through the dig site
Ilyena starts praying. 
Weasel starts to dart back and forth across the circle in the middle of the clearing, making sure she's got all of the giants attention. 
Gorawwwk stares after the screaming gnome and decides to take the high road… and promtly flies high up into the air over the hole shouting, "Ten thousand gold to the man who catches that gnome! She stole things from me and must pay!"
Akam yells "POLO" and attempts to smack Weasel with his sword
Gorawwwk takes a moment to glance down into the hole while waving his arms frantically and shouting for the giants to help him catch the thief.
Kebar says "Ten Thousand! Get it!"
Weasel dodges the sword and sticks her tongue out. 
Gorawwwk rolls 6for a Investigation skill check and gets 13.
Weasel one of the giants gets far to close for comfort so she swings her axe right for his achilles. 
Gorawwwk shouts, "Get it! Catch it! Smash it real good!" and fires a few potshots in Weasel's direction.
Kloos says "If that bird-man has that much gold, get him too!"
Weasel hits Vugrog with Battleaxe for 7 damage (d8+5 slashing).
Gorawwwk hits the ground with Longbow for 10 damage (d8+3 piercing).
Weasel taunts, "What kind of idiots can't manage to catch a gnome?"
Kebar says "Um, I know this one…it's…uhhh"
Vugrog says "Hey! it hit me"
Gorawwwk squawks, "Not on me! In a secret place. I tell you when you catch!
"Randole" sees his chance, sneaks up to the wagon, and starts taking anything that looks valuable or magical.
Weasel runs beween two giants, around their backs and then through two more, just to confuse them. 
Hisius knocks the slaves into the hole. "Stay there until I say you can come out!"
Weasel says "You can't catch me! I'm the stinky cheese man! "
Crigfur says "I like stinky cheese"
Gorawwwk shouts, "It's… Swiftfoot Fontlebottom! Notorious thief and snatcher of chickens! Her head is worth even more than I have in my lavish estate in the mountains! All Waterdeep longs for her capture. You can be heroes!"
THe giants run after *Weasel** as she leads them on a wild gnome-chase**
Weasel uses Level 1 spell slot.
Weasel uses Acid Splash (60') on Kloos, Akam.
Gorawwwk whispers, "She's also a heretic who does not worship right. Her god is called this… Leeerooyyy Jennnkinnnsss… I hear he is a dwarven god of chaos… maybe of drinking too much and eating cheesey foods…"
Weasel uses Acid Splash (60') on Akam, Kloos.
Gorawwwk flaps around in circles and does his best to look helpless and desperate to catch a horrible thief and heretic.
Kloos says "Ow, it spit on me"
Weasel says "bunch of slow pokes! you're like twenty times my size, and I can still run faster than you! "
"Randole" takes a bunch of items from the wagon.
Gorawwwk screeches, "Get it! Don't let it get away! Whatever you were looking for, I bet it stole it while it was here! Such is the chaos of Fontlebottom the Malignatious!"
Weasel rolls 3for a Dexterity check and gets 4.
Weasel rolls 4for a Dexterity check and gets 5.
All of the giants but one chase *Weasel** off into the woods**
Hisius says "I'll just stay here and do MY JOB!!!"
"Randole" ducks behind the cart, crossbow at the ready. This was where the plan ended… he waits for his companions to make a move.
Gorawwwk hovers over the shoulder of the remaining giant and says, "She has stolen your friends, too. I can make you a very rich giant if you find her. I am a prince of royal Aarakocran blood. My people will make you a king of all giants if you kill the chicken-snatcher. Go, friend. I will watch your charges!"
Hisius swats at Gorawwwk "I don't believe you for an instant"
Weasel wanders back half an hour later a little scraped up, and very out of breath, but with no Giants following her. She leans over, and puts her hands on her knees while panting, "You should have seen what I did to those guys." 
Bimbor says "How did you let her get away? We were gonna be rich"
Kebar says "You couldn't catch her either!"
Ilyena claps the gnome on the back. "Good work."
Gorawwwk sighs a whistly sort of sigh and says, "Your friend does not want to be rich. He is a bad friend, no?" as he flies over to the other giant's side.
Weasel says "Did you guys find the dragon they said they caught? It could be our friend from earlier. "
Fridos says "Riches are for other giants. We only want power"
Akam says "And we can get more power by making you dig for the spear, dodo-bird"
Gorawwwk flaps his wings in exasperation, "Don't you know gold buys power? Gold buys all the shiny things that make you powerful and make enemies cower!" He notices another giant return and does his best to casually fly around the circle and out of their reach…
Crigfur says "Let him go and let's get back to finding the spear. Duke Zalto would have taken the money anyway"
Kloos approaches the wagon to resume his post
Gorawwwk squawks, "Zalto?! Did you say Zalto?! He is a friend of mine! What is Zalto making you do? Some menial task well below your ability, I bet!" He lets out a chirping laugh and adds, "That Zalto, always thinking everyone else is dumber than dumb."
Gorawwwk rolls 10for a Persuasion skill check and gets 9.
Bimbor says "Go away, Donald, before we make quill pens out of you."
Kebar says "HAHA Quack, quack!"
Akam says "but he thinks he's Scrooge McDuck, not Donald! SHOW ME THE MONEY!"
Gorawwwk sighs and mutters, "Fine, I go. But you better check your pockets. I bet Fontlebottom stole all your shinies." Then he flaps off in a direction other than the one his friends are in.
"Randole" rolls 3for a Stealth skill check and gets 12.
Kloos rolls 16for a Perception skill check and gets 18.
Kloos says "There's a halfling in our wagon!"
"Randole" says, "Huh?" And then realizes they mean him. Time to bolt…
Fridos says "That's a Dwarf, even worse!"
"Randole" pulls out that piece of parchment he had stuffed into his bag and holds it in front of him, hoping it did what he… hoped it did…
Kloos says "Hey! Where'd he go??!!"
Fridos says "Damn sneaky dwarf. I hates 'em! Spread out and beat the bushes!"
"Randole" ever-so-slowly backs away from the wagon and toward the group, keeping the paper pointing towards the giants.
"Randole" whispers "GO! NOW!"
The giants spread out into the woods, where Randole WAS
Weasel says "Wait guys, Where's the dragon? "
Weasel says "Shouldn't we at least save the prisoners? "
Ilyena halts her prayer and runs for it, shooing the others ahead of her. 
"Randole" whispers "We can't do anything for them now, let's just get out of here. We can come back with more help if we need to"
Weasel says "I feel bad just leaving them there. "
The entire party bolts, running back through the forest until you're sure the giants have given up
Gorawwwk was apparently not accounted in the rest of the party, so he swoops down on the way and snatches one of the prisoners for interro… rescuing before joining the rest of the team.
Mortimer Seaton begins feeling antsy, wondering if drowning the giants would have been a better course of action.
Ilyena looks around. "I do wonder that their prisoners didn't run while the Giants were chasing Weasel."
Mortimer Seaton says "So whatever happened to that green dragon? Or was it bronze? Or some other rainbow color that I am not remembering at the momenet?"
Weasel says "Dunno. Never found him. I was a little busy being chased by giants while the rest of you were supposed to look around. "
"Randole" says "Green is the one we were lookin' fer, bronze is the one we met. THe we thought was gonna show up at the digsite but failed to show it's cowardly scaly arse…"
Gorawwwk apparently dropped and/or missed his chance to snatch a prisoner and lands deftly next to the others saying, "I tried, but they want to stay prisoners, I think. Stupid humans. Giants are not fun company."
Nigh Quill says "Did you find anything good?"
"Randole" says "But we didn't walk away with nothin'…" and spreads out the items he looted for everyone to see
"Randole" shows the group the Deck of Many Things, the Invisibility Screen, and Ring of Shamless Shifting, and the Alchemist's Mouthguard
Mortimer Seaton says "Oh-Em-Gee. I think that ring would match my loin cloth PERFECTLY. My mom once told me I should be a hand model. Now I just have to wear it. Please oh please Randole? I can always return it."
"Randole" says "Sure lad, it don't mean anythin ta me"
"Randole" drops Ring of Shameless Shifting.
Gorawwwk peers at the pile of loot and says, "So, we play cards with giants until they get bored, fall asleep, and then… profit?"
Mortimer Seaton emphatically slips the ring on his middle finger, cautious to leave the fourth finger available if he is to ever find a fair maiden willing to marry him.
Mortimer Seaton takes Ring of Shameless Shifting.
Ilyena fingers the little crystal bird statuette. "May I?" She didn't take it from him, just turned it over. It was beautiful. 
Weasel delicately picks up the mouthguard and holds it a foot away from her. 
Mortimer Seaton starts to see a mist form around his ankles and slowly work its way up to around his head. Unsure whether the mist is from the ring or just excessive persperation, he shifts it a little on his finger and suddenly finds himself in the branches of the nearest tree, nearly 30 feet above the ground. "Oh goodness, how in salmon hell did I get up here?"
Mortimer Seaton starts gloating his new found ability to teleport, unaware that his loin cloth and personal belongings remain with the rest of the group. "Thank goodness for leaves, am I right?"
Weasel says "Anyone have anything to clean this with? "
"Randole" hands Weasel his flask. "Just rinse it, ye'll be fine."
Weasel rinses it, stares at it questioningly, but then shrugs and slips it into her mouth. 
Weasel has the irresitably urge to put a leaf in her mouth. She picks one quickly and sets it on her tongue. 
Weasel See's Mortimer's loin cloth on the group, thinks about cloth a little too much, and then suddely feels the leaf inside her mouth turn more cottony. 
Weasel opens her moth again and pulls out a now cloth leaf. "Oh I've gotta try that again!" 
Gorawwwk leans over the dwindling pile of loot, trying to fight the urge to snatch up what's left and fly off into the great unknown… "Can… I have a card? Just one? Maybe? Yes?"
Mortimer Seaton winks down at Weasel, unsure of whether this tasting of his loin cloth is suggestive? Maybe a new kind of flirting?
Mortimer Seaton says "Wait! Now I have no pants!?"
Gorawwwk hears no objections, and reaches for the top card of the deck…
Weasel picks another leaf, sticks it on her tongue, closes her mouth and then thinks of iron. The leaf in her mouth turns sharp and she pulls out a beautiful iron leaf. "I could make a lot of money uthing thith," she says with a lisp because of the mouth guard. 
Gorawwwk says, "I am not greedy bird. I will just take one. You can have the rest," and plucks the top one.
Player [Clint] rolls a d13 for 5.
A magic blowgun appears in Gorawwwk's talons
"Randole" says "A lucky pull, birman… Anyone going to draw for now?"
Gorawwwk blinks in surprise. "What trickery is this?! I wanted a card… what is.. ooo… shiny."
"Randole" says, "Then I'll just put this away fer safe keepin'…" and tucks the deck away in his pack.
"Randole" says "So what do we do now? Do we keep on after the green?"
Weasel says "Alright. Now that we have that thorted out. thould we go find a dragon? "
Nigh Quill says "I think we should"
Weasel says "Thoooo… Dragonth? "
Mortimer Seaton says "Can someone hand me my pants? I cannot leave this tree while still indecent"
Nigh Quill says "I can play us some travelling music"
Nigh Quill says "I would walk 500 mile and I would walk 500 more!"
Gorawwwk hefts his new shiny over his head and shouts, "To the dragon!"
Mortimer Seaton says "Pants? Please?"
Nigh Quill yells "I'M SAILING AWAY. SET AN OPEN COURSE FOR THE VIRGIN SEA"
Weasel huffs, and picks up Mortimer's pants, tossing them up to him. "Boys. So demanding." 
Gorawwwk sings in a surprisingly melodic voice, "I'veeee got to be freeeee…"
Nigh Quill smiles at Gorawwwk
Gorawwwk mutters, "as a bird nowwwwwww.."
Weasel whispers, "Free to face the life that's ahead of me."
Nigh Quill says "to CAAAAAARRY ONNNNNN!"
Mortimer Seaton grins and hops down from the tree, expertly sticking the landing. THinking that Weasel's new lisp is kind of cute and SURE that she is flirting this time, he begins to blush, turning a horrible shade of purple. "Thanks so much, I will be indebted to you, good for one date."
Weasel scoffs, "no thankth."
Nigh Quill says "they climbed aboard the starship and headed for the skies!"
Ilyena watches the others curiously as she leans against the solid trunk of an oak tree. 
Weasel says "To the dragon! "
The group continues to head north to the Kryptgarden forest. As you get deeper into the forest it continues to get darker even though the sun was high in the sky when you entered. After a while you begin to notice the sounds of small animals fleeing in front of you.
Weasel says "Well this definitely seems like the right direction. "
Ilyena rolls 18for a Nature skill check and gets 18.
Gorawwwk spends the walk twirling his new toy around, wondering where it came from, why it used to be a card, and what he can do with it. It seems to be a tube of some sort, but he's not entirely sure what else to do with it yet. He's mostly preoccupied with this while he wanders along with the group, and doesn't notice a whole lot until someone else speaks up.
Weasel says "Anyone know what's going on? "
Ilyena frowns. This wasn't the normal behavior of animals sensing a predator. They weren't afraid of the group so much as the seemed to not want to be around them, like the many times her fellow elven kind often fell silent when she walked into a room. "I don't know exactly, but these animals are not running scared. It's more like they want to be able to say they never saw us."
You hear the sound of something enormous, no, Gargantuan, approaching from the Northeast. *
Weasel says "Now the real question is: Who do they not want to tell? "
Gorawwwk looks around and squawks, "Big badda boom!"
Ilyena is about to answer with something non-commital when the loud crashing is heard. "I would imagine we're about to find out."
Through the trees you see a large head with several appendages attached. No, wait, there are several human appendages dangling from its mouth.
Weasel darts into the closest tree and tries to hide. 
Claugiylamatar says "Ah, my little woodland spies told me someone was approaching"
Unrecognized command: /twll we sure
Weasel rolls 7for a Stealth skill check and gets 8.
"Randole" ducks into the foliage
"Randole" rolls 14for a Stealth skill check and gets 23.
Claugiylamatar rolls 2for a Perception skill check and gets 19.
Claugiylamatar says "Don't bother trying to hide, my little snacks"
Gorawwwk shouts, "Dragon! Green dragon! You killed my fa… wait. You aren't Elacrimalicros… are you?"
Claugiylamatar says "No, I am Claugiylimatar. And who might you be to come traipsing into my forest?"
Claugiylamatar takes a few VERY LARGE steps toward the group
Weasel hops outof the tree, "Wait a minute! We were sent looking for you!"
Claugiylamatar says "Sent? You have been had my little morsel. By someone who REALLY doesn't like you I would say."
Gorawwwk puffs up his chest and spreads his wings out wide, holding his blowgun over his head and declares, "Gorawwk! Hunter of Elacrimalicros the Vile, who is not you, most magnaficimous Claugiylamatar."
Weasel says "Chazlauth sent us! He said you could help us fight some giants."
Claugiylamatar says "Why would would anyone SEND you here unless it was to be my lunch?" She looks at Gorawwwk "Despite your most infantile attempt at flattery"
Claugiylamatar says "Giants? What is this about giants? You small folk couldn't take on giants if you were double your level (oops was that too meta, I gotta stopp doing that…)"
Weasel says "Oh, but you're wrong. We jutht thtole from the giantth. They never even thaw it coming. "
 

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